As usual I cannot say enough about the noticeable transition of Beyoncé as she serves a dish of cultural appetizers with rebellious helping of pride. With each production she makes a statement of empowerment for all.
A West African friend of mine said that although, as an African, there are pieces of the production could be a tad more accurate for those that want to have a knowledge base about Africa, but noted she brought about pride and distinction while bringing people together.
I look foreword, as I always have, to seeing all she has to offer and what will be next on her repertoire of distinctive and powerful prose.
Beyonce has been speaking through her music for some time. While some may ridicule musicians when they speak out , musicians in many respects serve as our society’s conscience and with these times of social and political upheaval, we need them more than ever to put fire in a movement, to wield and leverage theirContinue reading “BEYONCE: Putting Rhythm to our Heartbeats with BLACKPARADE”
When you break up, stop seeing a person, or you have been ghosted. ( which I think is so cowardly) but anyway, its difficult to say the least. It doesn’t matter if you spoke to someone every other Monday, now every other Monday they are not there. Don’t let anyone tell you, to just “get over it.” Don’t let anyone tell you that it “doesn’t matter,” because it does. For whatever reason you connected with someone and they moved on without you. It happens to the best of us, but no worries because as much as it hurts, its temporary. Connecting with to someone who has no connection to you or loving someone who doesn’t love you, can be like a wound being split open in your stomach, and watching them “tra la la” whilst you drown in tears, well… it sucks!!!! but there are brighter days ahead:
You are not the one!!
Ok so you just knew that you were it..you fit everything he/she wanted, and they fit you. Whats the problem!? Right?…. Were you on a mission to make someone love you? If you had to make, create or make moves for someone to look at you and see you then they were not for you. If you have to make someone, force someone, tap dance, and handstand, if you have to watch what you say, if you hide behind what you think they want to see and not who you are then be happy they are gone, they were not the one for you and you were not the one for them.
Say the bells tolled and you everything fit, and he/she just didnt feel the same. Okay, learn from it and move on. Its hard but here are some things not to do.
Dont listen to sad music: I cannot tell you how many sad songs you will listen to in the course of a breakup and it just makes you remember all the good, and gone times. If there is a particular song you listened to, apply it to something else. Hell dance, with your dog on it!!, but remove the person from your spirit Also put on uplifting music, songs that say you are great, you are better off, time to move on but don’t dwell
Clean house: Get rid of everything that reminds you of them. Archive or delete videos, archive or delete pictures. Unfollow and mute them on Instagram. Remove from Facebook, the more you cannot see, the better it is to move on… if not you are still dwelling!!!
Hobbies: If you write, write about it. Its cathartic, tell your story or write a blog, write poetry. Or if that is not it, then get out go hiking jogging, gym but put as much time into something else. so you don’t….Dwell.
What was it?
What was it you loved, liked or was connected to? Did he/she do something, say something, were with you when you were down or up. Pinpoint what that person brought to you, then find that within you. Find whatever they did for you and open that door to yourself and provide that. Being lost, is real, being alone can be real and feeling unworthy because someone doesn’t want you or feel the same for you is real also. Don’t dwell (keyword for the day) on it, but understand that “a person” does not define you, and doesn’t mean that you are some how unworthy, on the contrary if they walked away they just weren’t ready and as you were ready to give all you were and all you are to that person, they only gave you a part and you ARE worth so much more than pieces of a person.
You will love again!!!
You may feel like you will never want to ever love again, you don’t want to ever feel the pain of losing someone or watching someone walk away so easily. You just gave your love to the wrong person, you freely opened your heart and they may have taken it and callously threw it away. You must go through a process of grieving, you have to hurt, hate, balance and then see the love in yourself and what you can bring to someone deserving.
Open you’re the dark curtains, the shades, walk in the sunlight!!!! Healing is coming when you move, when you get up and stop feeling sorry for yourself. Yes maybe there was something you did, maybe you said something or the person just couldn’t hold on and wait for your season to end. I say better to know now than be in the throws of a fight for your life and finding out that person would have never been there for you. I rather Fight alone than with one that stands on the sidelines and watches me.
There is a correlation between Self and Wealth. Financial Freedom classes are filled all the time, standing room only for many of them. “I will tell you how to make money!” they scream. Bitcoin, real estate, investments, venture capital, small Businesses. One would wonder , if we have all this knowledge and all this resource at our disposal why aren’t all of us making money. For most people its “Mindset”. How do you win when you already know you are going to lose, how do you move when you are comfortable in staying.
There are articles upon articles that speak of the mindset of the wealthy the thought process behind the successful. We buy books and practice mantras. Belief in ones self, law of attraction..again “mindset.” You have to know emphatically that you are a Winner. You have know and believe in that thing or that process that you are about to venture into that will provide you the financial freedom you desire, you must also have the discipline to complete these moves and the faith that it will be successful.
I have always told my children and anyone I get into this conversation with, when I apply for positions, “if I get the interview, I got the job”. Hands down, i have been right every time. Its Because I know my worth I know what I am bringing to the table and I can back up everything I put on my resume. My belief is strong and there is a fine line between arrogance and confidence. (well get into that later)
So here some Mindset exercises for you as your are on your way to Bulding Self leading to Wealth.
Visualize yourself as you want to be: I am the queen of this one. Whoo ooh I am so great to me!!! 🙂 Be Specific, ask yourself “Where do you want to be in the next 5 years? What do you want? then see it, feel it, and walk as if its already yours.
Affirm yourself: Affirmations, Affirmations, Affirmations, I cannot tell you how important it is to view yourself positively, view yourself not just worthy but view yourself with pride. Use terms like I can, I will, I am.
Challenge Fear: So I had to read and watch a keynote speaker by the name of Jia Jiang https://www.rejectiontherapy.com/ He took a 100 Day challenge in order to “bust” fear, by making some requests and getting rejected 100 times. Now I am not sure if this is what you need to do, or if you need to face rejection to that extreme, but I will you this, Once you have been rejected a few times it can go one or two ways, you can give up or keep going simple as that. Rejection is learning, if you are rejected, then learn what is missing, what you need to acquire, who you need to talk to, and then go to another one ( interview, resubmit a proposal or whatever it is) and come back stronger.
Organization: If you don’t think that its important look at the 500 sticky notes you have on your desk or paper or books or notepads that you have sitting around full of ideas, hopes and dreams. Get them together and put them in order. List what you need to do to complete one thing, just one. If you see the progress and completion of a task, you are more likely to complete the others more succinctly.
Be YOU: I love this quote, “Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” — Marilyn Monroe. Be you , no matter what you are doing and what process you are following do not lose yourself, Be yourself. It makes the success all the sweeter when you look in the mirror and see you getting, receiving, completing your destiny and you did not sacrifice the better part of you for it or for anyone else.
Lastly: Drop the Naysayers, Drop the people that at every turn are there to say “No, not sure, doesn’t sound right, you too old, you too young, you too poor, you are a woman, a man, a girl etc… I don’t care what it is, these haters will fnd something to hate you for. Drop them!!! You don’t need that in your ear, you also don’t need a “Yes” person. You need someone who will be there, understand what you want and need per your goals, but will give you the constructive criticism needed and root for you along the way. If you don’t have one, then you be your own cheerleader along with ( for the prayer folks) God, to whom I lean, all things you want are possible.
These Mind Set changes will enhance your life and change your outlook, you will see your world differently and change your future. Walk and talk success and be successful.
Change is a way of life. Change happens all the time every day and many of them we don’t even notice. Small adjustments to a route, to a job, a turn to left instead of right. Although inevitable and adaptable, change can tramatically happen in an instant and affect your life forever. When there is a crisis, it requires instant change, something you did today or a way of being, a mindset will have to adapt.
Our ability to adapt to a new challenge is a human wonderment. You need only to fling open some of humans most triumphant changes in the pit of adversity. But in our everyday lives, change can be tramatic. A Crisis can be so very difficult and many need extra assistance in coping.
Many events, such as a death, a diagnosis, or in our current state, a pandemic, can cause emotional issues, that counseling and therapy now become options of consideration in your life.
The narrative and well being of your mindset, is one of the first steps in dealing with change, especially when it happens so suddenly. How we cope depends on how we view and ultimately react to what is happening around us.
Your Mindset is one of the most important parts of any process. Your mind can affect the outcome of solutions and change the process in reaching them. If you feel defeated you will approach, create and walk as a defeatist. You must have a “can do” attitude to walk and approach these changes with your head up not kicking rocks in the corner of self doubt.
Learn and Know before you go
Communicate your need to know. We all process information differently. Our healing process is just as different. There is no time limit on how long it takes you to process the information you received, but process it the best you can before you make any moves, or rash decisions. Even if its a death, take a moment to process, breath and lean on family, friends and god for support.
Delegate: Don’t be a afraid to ask for help. If you must, let people know you need help. You need to process information and you are unable to make a rational decision. Call on Friends and family and let others take the wheel while you heal from the news and/or information
Counseling: can help by supporting you during a transition while you adjust to new circumstances, many of the common emotional reactions can be anxiety, depression and fear. Have awareness of this, do not surpress these emotions, it can do more damage in the long run. Walk in these emotions and if need be get professional help.
Lottery win, Increase in duties, Location, death, illness there is a laundry list of reasons change can happen in your life. Now in 2020 we are faced with the COVID-19 that has swept the world and changed everything from working conditions to how close you can get to a person.But this too is an adaptable change.
Just listen, learn and BE Diligent, Vigilant and Knowledgeable. With that, you may wobble a bit when changes hit you, but you will not fall, because you will lean on the process, lean on the knowledge of whatever it is, and you will learn to let go and let GOD.