Mental Health pulls no Punches

Its April 2017, Easter Sunday. What do we do, church then Easter eggs, this year rendered a nice day, we grilled out, which we often did if the sun peaked even a smidgeon.

This day was different, where in, the night prior I had a “Mother/Son” day. with four children its important for each to their time with Momma, with that it became a sort of tradition. With my son being the other boy, out of four children,of course this was always special.

We laughed, joked, walked, ate, saw movie (not all in that same order) but we had pretty good day. So why then, did Easter Sunday afternoon, did our home become filled with police, EMT’s and just a total Mess?

Because my son, attempted Suicide by slashing his wrists. Watching movies is nothing to the real thing, the copper smell in the air, the brownish colors of blood streaked along the floor, the undefinable moans and screams of your child, begging for the police to “Kill him” as they approached.

This was our Easter Sunday 2017.

After being committed twice, a series of medications, Doctors diagnosed him with Bipolar, more specifically Bipolar Type 1: Which is Defined as: A disorder which involves periods of severe mood episodes from mania to depression.

We went bed and awoke thrust into the jaws of Mental Illness, and were my eyes opened, not just to the illness, but to difficulty in finding information, sure logging on the internet is so easy, but you ask a question you get 10 answers. Insurance issues, financial issues, medication issues. but overall we were blessed with the right people at the right time. That continued to help from therapists, doctors, co workers, friends and with heavy and consistent prayer he is on the road to recovery.

There are still bumps, stumbles and problems back tracks and issues. but we have more awareness, and little bit more understanding and definitely more support.

I speak of my son, who is doing well now, but it’s important to know that #addiction and #mentalhealth effects everyone, the family, friends and all that you love or who loves you. Make sure you listen, learn and love.

Listen to what is being said, the issues the struggles and the hurt listen with your #heart . My son told me of his struggles, but I didn’t hear him. I learn all about what you are dealing with the more you know the more you can prepare for battle. Most importantly #love No matter how many slip ups no matter how hard and no matter how long you will never lose the love, it will only strengthen. “If one member suffers, all suffer together; if one member is honored, all rejoice together.” 1 Corinthians 12:26

If you need help or find yourself in a Mental Health Crisis,

1.consult your doctor,

2.consult with a therapist

3. Do a lot of research on the diagnosis

4. Ensure good nutrition (well talk about this more indepth later)

5. Most importantly LOVE AND LISTEN and be ready to catch them when they fall, so they can stand back up and keep moving.

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MARRIAGE AND MENTAL HEALTH

JAMES LAMPKIN is the creator of “Conversations with Lamp” Follow him on IG @conversationswithlamp. Join Mr. Lamp as he has discussions of inspiration, motivation, and keeps you entertained by his many guests.

” I got married to my wife when I was 23, we just celebrated 17 years of marriage in March. I must admit, it definitely has been a challenge, but the one thing I realized was how I wasn’t open with her in our beginning years. It took years for me to open up, I just did not realize how important this was. I would have challenges, but rather than share them with the woman who loves me and knows me the most, I would instead keep it to myself. When you are not open with your spouse about your deepest fears, what motivates you, just what you are feeling, it creates a blockage. When you commit to a person, it should be with the understanding that you trust that person with not only you physically, but most importantly mentally. We should never turn to someone before giving our spouse the opportunity to hear us. I will admit, it took me YEARS to understand this! Now that I finally do, it has been a great benefit” -James Lampkin

Text Tease

I think I coined this phrase in my Instagram post last year when a friend mind experienced a “texttease” fiasco with a guy she met on the infamous dating app, Tinder. Of course, I can’t take full credit for the terminology, but, for me at least, it was such a new experience.

Virtual Relationships are the new way forward. In our quick fast, virtual social world, meeting and having a relationship, whist on the phone has become common place

Is it bad though?

No worries about hair or makeup we can just send a filter pic. No need to spend a grip on dinner and dates. Just “cashapp” some coin and she can get what she wants. Hey and when it gets “hot and heavy” just send some videos and risque pics and complete the action in privacy of your own home. No Cuddling needed, skip the bad breath, and morning “WTF” when the alcohol wears off.

Is this really what you want?

Darlenes Story:

I was talking to a guy, we actually met on Instagram. We DM’ed, then we exchanged numbers, and we began texting each other and we texted, and we texted. It seemed like we could never get passed the texting. We would text in the morning, text in the afternoon, in the evening. Funny looking back, I only heard his voice like once. The text became more risque and eventually I asked a simple question, “Could we meet each other go out for drinks”?. He would deflect the conversation and say “Of course, as soon as he could get time, or come back from a trip, or being with his child. There was always an excuse

Carla’s Story:

I was new to the dating game, spent more time taking care of my kids than dating. My friends told me to use TINDER, although it was considered a “Hookup” site, I thought i would give it a try. So I met this guy, hmmm met is a strong word, i actually texted this guy and only met him twice. Initially the texting was harmless, then he started to ask for alot of visuals but would refuse to meet me. I got hotels, I was in his neighborhood, i would get nothing. Then finally, I texted him and said “This is the dumbest thing ever,!!!” and ceased all communication. I think he was married, but how stupid am I? I let this go on for 4 months!!! He must have been Married right?

How many people actually only text as part of a dating relationship?

This is a real thang!!

75% of millennials choose to text over talk, whilst only 24% of those over 40 (had to find that one, would prefer to text) so for us “older folks” its not a great number, so the hope in finding someone who likes to talk is great.

Texting can harm a relationship, with studies showing about 270 people, age ranges were between 18-25 and it spoke of the emotional connection, the comprehension and the over disassociation one has.

But how about people over 50!!!!, oh yes, thinking , I would escape these escapades, but alas, the over 50 crew text like crazy, thumbs, elbows and fingers.

But sexually, I believe that many older people are exploring texting to get the feeling without the feelings…get it. You can text what you want, how you want it and in what way, without the voice, drama, issues and feelings associated with a real person. THis is quite enticing for the older generation.

Why, you ask?

Because we have not learned through devices how to compartmentalize our feelings. We were brought up in the face to face generation where you learned mannerisms and how to woo and court and say the right things without google.

TEXTCHEAT:

Yep, its harder dating over 50 because majority of folks in this age range are married. So dating apps is the way of the world, but with that many men and women find it also easier to “textcheat”.. Sexual words, having full on sexual escapades exchanging pornography, hell almost an entire relationship, “What did you eat?” What movie did you see? all of the above without seeing each other.

It hard to dicern and even harder to trust, someone that is virtual for 80% of the time. My motto: If you cant see me, then “kick rocks” Its become to easy to text and show than to meet and get to know a person. So being careful and cautious is so important today, more than ever.

Feelings.

Yes there are feelings involved. Just because you text, its not a bot or emptiness that is texting back, these are real live people. That hurt, cry and want to be heard. The texting allows for a repository, a regurgitation, or dare I say a dumping ground for all this going on with you and it allows the person on the other end to respond to you “in kind”. But you, as with us all can become enamored by this, the right words texed at the right time. If you are vulnerable and hurting then this is a welcomed place.

This is a users and manipulators playground. The unsuspecting meet and greet and the ability to live out a fantasy vicariously through text, while leading someone on with thoughts of Relationship grandeur. Hunting and feeding an unsuspecting people via texts in hopes of getting their rocks off, knowing they are in a relationship, married, or just carelessly bouncing through feelings.

How to ensure that this doesn’t happen?

Well you ensure it doesn’t happen, but you can have awareness, Sure you can spend time, googling and checking on someone tracking phone calls but Why? why spend unnecessary energy.

If someone wants to get to really know you, the phone is just a device. An initial means to an end. He/she will meet you, talk to you, get to know you, spend time with you and above all. THe will use the text to set the darn date, not use the text as a date.

Love

Tht

Read: Ghosting